There was an article on The One Show this week, a short “citizen journalism” piece from a wheelchair user. It described how life was like being ignored by everyone because you were in a wheelchair. It showed a range of situations, in a lift with people getting in and out, being pushed about town shopping etc, obviously staged to make the point that wheelchair users are ignored.
The strange thing is, I never see this phenomenon. I cannot think of a single time when I have been ignored. There have been occasions when people have not seen me and bumped into me, especially in crowds, but I have never got the feeling that I was being deliberately ignored. Patronised yes, but never ignored.
I often find in fact the opposite problem – I feel highly visible, excessively so. Complete strangers seem happy to strike up a conversation with me (very un-British!), or make passing remarks – often the inevitable speeding/license “jokes, which I do have issues with – but again, not being ignored. When out with the boy he often comments on the number of people who smile at me in the street. I make an effort to smile back, but if I’m pushing myself I’m often concentrating too hard to notice.
This attention is one reason why I don’t like visiting new places, especially on my own, as I feel intensely conspicuous. On the rare occasions where something goes wrong (I trip if walking, or bump something with the wheelchair) I am instantly surrounded by a host of friendly smiling strangers, wanting to pick me up, help me out, check I’m ok, when all I really want to do is crawl into a hole. In fact there have been a couple of occasions where it has led to full blown panic attacks, because being surrounded by people standing up when you are in a wheelchair can be intensely claustrophobic, and for someone who isn’t hugely sociable at the best of times, it is far from a pleasant experience. It’s exacerbated by the desire not to offend these well-wishers, while desperately wanting them to go away and leave me to recover on my own.
Why is my experience so different? The lady who made the tv piece had a lot in common with me – a few years older, but otherwise smartly dressed, professional looking. middle class type who wouldn’t look out of place in M&S or Waitrose. I couldn’t see any reason for people to ignore her and not me. Perhaps it is where I live and work – very middle class, liberal area (Oxford), working in an environment where the majority are highly educated and well travelled… Or perhaps I am a more optimistic person, perhaps I put a more positive spin on the observations I make of those around me. Maybe I am just too hard to ignore?
I am in a wheelchair myself but it occurs to me that people in wheelchairs seem to make an issue out of it if they are staired at or talked to a certain way (and I would take issue with that to at a certain point) but now to take issue with not being staired at? What does she mean by ignored? Not recieving a response when wanting to be helped at a store? I’d take issue with that, but is it just that other people have learned not to stair and make a big deal out of seeing us out and about? What is bad about that?